Happily Ever After… and then some

I have been meaning to write about this but I just couldn’t find the time. The other day, I found myself thinking about it again. I was reading a back issue of Newsweek when I chanced upon an article entitled “And Now, the Hard Part.” The author wrote about how that sweet little thing is about to commandeer our lives and that we should be prepared. It hit a button. Immediately, I made a mental note to share the article to Joven. Joven and I often talk about having kids. We already have a number of children we want to have (a maximum of two) and when to have them (two years after the wedding). We want to enjoy each other first (*wink wink*) and of course, prepare for the child: physically, financially and emotionally/psychologically.

Physically
I know that I am not getting any younger and 30 might be a little old to start having kids but I feel that above all, preparedness in other aspects is essential. Some of my workmates tell me that it’s hard to drag oneself out of bed to make a formula or change diapers as one gets older. But I also saw my sister who at the age of 36 can still very much take care of her precocious and energetic 4-year-old son. I think it’s a matter of attitude.

Financially
Will we be able to give our child a good and comfortable life? Joven and I work hard (especially him) in order to prepare for the future. It has some financial rewards but in the long run I don’t want our children to feel neglected because we were not there. Many couples fall prey in interpreting “parenting” to “providing” which eventually leads to defiant children. I think it’s a matter of teamwork/partnership and balancing of roles and responsibilities.

Emotionally/Psychologically
I still have to battle a number of fears in this area. What I am most scared of is teaching values and eventually yielding good people. I have seen a number of parents who are good persons who have not-so-good children. Is it too much love? I think I have to refresh on my developmental psychology.

According to the article in Newsweek, a large percentage of marital fights occur on the first three years of the child and are mainly on the division of labor. I am hoping that we’ll manage. I see great potential in Joven. He took care of his cousin and his sister when they were infants and knows more or less how to handle little kids. I myself took care of my two nephews when they were younger. I know that that experience is incomparable to parenting but a little know-how helps. I also see how receptive Joven is. After reading the article, he told me that we should go out on dates more often (*touched*). I think it’s a matter of faith and love.

Which gives me a raw conclusion of how I should look at parenting. It is a matter of attitude, teamwork/partnership, balancing of roles and responsibilities, faith and love.