When it rains...

I am happy.

Check this out.




BUT, I'm missing Joven already.

Irresponsible

Last night while waiting for our routine TV show, my mom flipped to channel 2 a bit earlier and we were able to catch the last 15 minutes of TV Patrol World. From a raised eyebrow in distaste to fuming mad in 15 minutes...

We caught the segment on sexy-ladies-posing-for-sexy-magazines (duh!). They showed a number of photos of these ladies in skimpy outfits... in prime time TV! Sus!

Apparently that was just a teaser to the worst news segment of the night. Later they featured a zoo that is not well maintained and the animals not taken cared of. Blah, blah, blah. They later focused their camera to a croc. They said that the caretakers are feeding the croc live animals, e.g., dogs, cats, goats. They said that based on a certain law, this is illegal. They should not feed the croc with live animals. For whatever reason, they said that they paid the caretakers P500 to show them how they feed the croc. Given the money, the caretaker obliged. They literally dropped a live goat in the croc's cage. Within seconds, the croc attacked the crying goat. The ABS-CBN crew just kept the cameras rolling. Jeez! They said that it was illegal. They even directly quoted the law. They want to illustrate a point?? I don't think so. They're just in for the "good stuff." Damn those people.

I Want This!

I love Elmo! The dog really amuses too. Hihihi!

Note: For those who can't play it, click here.

Amused

I was on my way to our office on the 5th floor from the 14th when the elevator doors opened. Two colleagues from the Department came in. D lightly touched my tummy (to my surprise!) and said, "Pregnant ka na?" What the?!! I answered in an amused tone. "I just gained weight!" Realizing her booboo, she jumped up and hugged me, "Sooorry! You got married na kasi eh." To which I retorted, "It doesn't follow, noh!" We ended up laughing in the lift.

I was not the very least angry nor annoyed. I was amused. Very amused. I couldn't believe that some people are like that... just plain tactless. She even touched my tummy, mind you! Sheesh, I ask permission from pregnant women before I touch their tummy! I think it's only polite to ask. It's still a body part and a sensitive body part at that. Nakakaaliw lang. =P

Sexist God?

Last night, I was lying in bed asking the sandman to sprinkle his magic sand onto me. Joven was already snoring lightly and I was left preoccupied with our conversation before he fell asleep. So, I decided to pray myself to sleep. I was praying hard, not only asking for sleep to come, but of the things that are happening to me and to us lately. (Happening to us? Well, nothing that bad really.)

I was in the middle of my prayer when I remembered one of the speakers in our precana seminar in UST. The speakers, who were a couple, told us that when women pray to Him, He listens but doesn’t give their requests immediately... sometimes, not at all. But when men pray to Him, He will give their requests immediately, without a doubt… and they say that that’s guaranteed. I was sitting there, grinding my teeth and hoping things will be over soon.

Why would they say that?? Did they really think that God is sexist?? Is that some kind of old, old, old church teaching nobody knows about?? Did the people from UST even review the contents of what the couple was teaching us?? Sheesh.

I sat there mum about what they were saying because I needed their signature on our church documents. I don’t want to argue… they’re older than me and because of that, I respect them. But I still couldn’t believe (until now) that they said what they said.

So, I continued to pray, until I fell asleep, to my God who I believe is not sexist at all.

One Month

Being married to Joven, I have discovered a number of things…

• I can cook. I’m not superb but I’m not a disaster either.
• Supermarkets can be fun too. I discover things I haven’t seen before. You know... the ones you use for cooking. =P
• I can handle breakfasts and lunches. Even sandwiches in between. It's been three weeks! Woohoo!
  
• It takes me approximately two weeks to adjust with a malikot sleeper beside me. But I’m well adjusted na. Kahit magpaikot ikot pa sya. Basta wala lang cow-talk.
• My husband is very appreciative of what I do for him. I get wonderful text messages when he’s on his way to work.
• Joven’s somewhat like my almost-five-year-old nephew: He says “I love you” when cooked a delicious meal.
• It’s hard to keep one’s eyes open during work. So sleepy at times from the 5AM alarm (I'm not complaining ah). But at least coffee still works for me. =)
  
• Changing one’s name is not a breeze. I filled up more than a dozen of pages of paperwork and I’m still not done with it.
• I need to be in better shape. I’m enthusiastic about the upcoming yoga and swimming lessons. Sad that we can’t play badminton because of schedule conflict. Well, maybe we can insert that someday.
• We need a kasambahay. We got one… yesterday. Yay!
• I need to be more organized. Know where to put things and not lose them. I lost Joven’s SM Advantage Card with a lot of points in it. Huhu! Buti na lang it can be recovered pa. Whew!
• I just might be able to finish the novel I’m reading in two months. Maya Angelou's book (very interesting!) but I can’t seem to finish it.
• I have tons of books to read from the bridal registry in Powerbooks. But I still have to find time to cover them with plastic before I read them. OC!
• We seem to have not enough space for the gifts we got from the wedding. The cabinets are not big enough. =P
• I’m starting to get unaffected by the are-you-pregnant-yet question. I have a standard answer for this. One year pa po.
• I’m always amused by the kamusta-buhay-may asawa question. I think those who were married 40+ years ago can give you a better answer.
• Married life is fun! But you’re also faced with countless bills. But an occasional pair of shoes or dress would not hurt. Hehe!
• Getting a dress gives me a certain high. Especially if it costs “50 pesos.” Haha!
• It’s nice to cuddle at night. Bliss.
• The possibilities in life are endless. Joven and I discussed things we wanted to do in the future and near future. Swimming lessons, study French, driving lessons, yoga, AIM for Joven, kid/s, badminton, programming for me, shift in careers/jobs, etc… hopefully we’d get to do these things and more.

Good looks, boots and work

After church yesterday, Joven, my mom and I went to see the mega-hyped Superman Returns. Joven and I had little expectations of it as a result of former mega-hyped movies we were disappointed with. We did not even reserve tickets anywhere.

Joven came out of the theatre very much satisfied. He liked it! The effects and all. =) I came out of the theatre very much in love! Hahaha! I liked the movie of course. When I saw teaser pictures of the upcoming Superman movie last year I thought that Brandon Routh will not be able to come close to the image Christopher Reeve left in my mind. I even thought he was fat. =D When I saw him present at the 2006 MTV Movie Awards looking like Clark Kent, I was so surprised.

photos grabbed from: Christopher Reeve Homepage and Superman Megasite

New crush. Haha! Can't wait for the next installment. Superman and Superboy? =P

BTW, the boots... argh! Pambaha! Sheesh!

---

I just came out of weekend work from Eugenio Lopez Center in Antipolo. The sessions turned out well. We got great speakers (Monette Hamlin, Cory Quirino, Jaime Licauco and Rosario Manalo) which kept me interested the whole time. I was so interested, I wanted to take them home. =P

The participants were supposed to return to Manila on Sunday morning although the sessions ended Saturday night. I opted to go home early which was a first time for me. I miss my husband. Since the boss supervising us there was leaving early too, I got the nod from my boss (who was not there) and the boss (who was there). =D Good thing we had colleagues covering for us. =)

It got me thinking about how difficult it really is to be in long distance marriages/relationships. I salute those who survive them. I was just away for a night. What if I go on scholarship? Joven would of course understand. Nuninu.

Let's see. Hahaha!

sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach

In the middle of DIYs, planning our honeymoon, listing down last-minute things we need to buy and need to do, calculating expenses, pimple outbreak, errands here and there, e-mails from suppliers and friends, updating our guestlist, Joven and I gave each other a virtual hug.

The good thing about all this hullabaloo is this...


I finally found someone
That knocks me off my feet
I finally found the one
That makes me feel complete
It started over coffee
We started out as friends
It's funny how from simple things
The best things begin...


My life has just begun
I finally found someone.


Allow me to be mushy.


I'm still not losing sleep which is good. But, I do have that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach from time to time.

To my wonderful husband-to-be

What are the odds this would happen to someone? Of ending up with a wonderful person perfect for them? Sometimes I can’t believe how blessed I am. Thank you for being the wonderful perfect person for me. The path leading to having you might not be the best route to take but I’d go through it over and over again if it meant ending up with you.

I love you, Joven.

Oh, Brother!

My brother called this morning and told me about the news.

They won't be able to make it.

They're still waiting for the same document that they'll have to submit to the immigration. Immigration processes normally take a month. We don't have a month.

I can't remember crying as much. I was sobbing like a baby on the phone.

It's not because he, my nephews and niece are in the entourage and we don't have a plan B yet. It's not because the headdress, flowers for the stroller, butonnieres, neckties, and other paraphernalia are already prepared and we can't take everything back anymore. It's not because of these.

It was because he was my second dad when I grew up. It was because he guided me through life as a young girl, as an adolescent and eventually as an adult. It was because he saw me become who I am. It was because I cradled my nephews in my arms when they were growing up. It was because I know I will fall in love with my niece the moment I see her (as I am so fond of her photos).

It was because it is my wedding and I want them there.

fr&s-'trA-sh&n

frus·tra·tion (fr&s-'trA-sh&n)
1: the act of frustrating
2 a: the state or an instance of being frustrated
b: a deep chronic sense or state of insecurity and dissatisfaction arising from unresolved problems or unfulfilled needs
3: something that serves to frustrate.

Lately, I get easily frustrated over small things. I'm not my usual calm and collected self. I guess stress is definitely kicking in.

There's work, house renovation, and of course... nitty gritty of wedding stuff.

Allow me to vent... I need to...

---

The master's bedroom of our house is currently undergoing renovation for almost two weeks now. There's the bathroom that needs to be tiled and new fixtures to be installed, bedroom flooring to be replaced, repainting of the whole room plus cabinets to be installed for our stuff.

Initially, it was fun to choose stuff for the room, to specify the cabinet features to be installed, the type of tiles to be used, etc. But renovation expenses are getting to me... not to mention the furniture and appliance expenses. Argh! (As if ako gumagastos... I'm a worry rat! =P)

Well... there are positive things to look at... It's the size of a studio-type condo unit so I'm glad of the space. We can fix it the way we want it to look. I can be close to my mom so no need to worry about her. Plus I won't miss her cooking. Hehe! We need not pay monthly rentals which would be a big help for us. We can start saving for whatever it is we want to save for. =D

Hopefully, the renovation ends next week which I doubt would happen.

---

Work, I don't want to talk about. I have office friends reading my blog. =P But I guess they know about my frustrations. At least some of my office friends understand where I'm coming from. Hopefully, this too shall pass.

At least my boss approved my leave for June. Woohoo! =D

---

It is only now that I realize that I have been too relaxed. I missed out on a number of things. At least I still have time to realize this. Our April weekends were fully booked... looks like May weekends will be too. It is as if we don't have weekends anymore. I always end up tired... and cranky.

Yesterday, I got an email from my sister-in-law telling me that their plans of coming home from the US is dependent on some papers from the immigration which they were not sure when will arrive. I was dumbfounded. We moved the wedding in JUNE just so they can come home because my nephews' classes end in May. I want to scream! Okay, nobody's fault. I'm not blaming anyone.... It's just soooo frustrating. I'm praying though. *sigh*

There's the story of some (highlighting the word SOME here... doesn't mean YOU) pasaway people around. I just hope they'll give us some slack. Just some little consideration would do. Naway ma-realize nyo rin.

We also have a lot of things to do. Stuff to buy, things to DIY, suppliers to meet, payments to make... the list goes on... Don't even know if we'll have a honeymoon (insert sad face here).

---

Just a while ago, Joven got crabby at me. He apologized a few minutes after. I guess we need to breathe a little.



Thanks for listening.

Praying for serenity here.

Mayabang na din kami!

We got our bands sometime last week after John and Benz sent an e-mail about their experience with the advocates of Yabang Pinoy. We couldn't resist.



I've always felt strongly about our culture. In a sense, I feel lucky working for the Institute because I get to learn new things about being Filipino that were never taught to me when I was in school. I also feel lucky to have been able to travel around the Philippines and see the beauty of our country.

Ipag yabang na ikaw ay Pilipino! To learn more about Yabang Pinoy and their advocacy, visit their website at www.yabangpinoy.com.

Wedding of My Dreams...

Last night, I officially had my first wedding nightmare. It was soo funny! But come to think of it, it would really be a nightmare if that had happened!

I can't remember how it started. I just remembered that I'm sitting in one of the pews, beside Joven and a guest! (How weird is that?) The guest was complaining because the church was so dark, gothically dark! Scary no?

Then came the ceremony part where the offerors would walk down the aisle carrying the offerings. Apparently, we were not able to give them a cue on when to stand. It was chaotic! I was surprised when about 15 people stood up to give offerings. Their offerings consisted of large candles, as in large! Then they walk up the altar past a dancing St. Anthony (similar to those mechanical dolls that dance when you make a sound). Hehe! I only learned that it was St. Anthony only when the lector mentioned it. The lector (who was supposed to be my sister) turned out to be commentator from the NBA. Sheesh!

The guest beside me started to make faces because the wedding was chaos. I became conscious that this might be recorded in the video. Haha! I wandered my eyes and looked for the Threelogy guys and Fol Rana. I discovered that Fol was standing in a corner giving his crew orders (he didn't even have a camera). Then, I saw the Threelogy guys in one corner of the church (all three of them!). Talk about unobtrusive! =D Then, I remembered... OMG! What about the other angles??

As I was about to complain to Joven, the alarm woke me up. Thank God!

Weird no? =D

Busy on...

Current Diet...



Joven and I have been into this since last month. He lost 20 lbs and I lost 5! Haha! We have been to Phase One, Phase Two and now back to Phase One. Ang saya! I never thought that dieting could be this easy. At least we can eat almost anything we want. =D Goodluck to us!

Current Reads...



I have been reading this since forever. I still open it I think once in every two weeks. Hehe! It's sooo boring yet I don't want to give it up. I just have a lot of respect to Dean Koontz that why I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Yes, I'm a late bloomer. Mind you, I love the movies. The movies last two hours or so... the book is a different story. I love reading books. Initially, I just didn't want to jump in the bandwagon. Now, I'm trying it... Let's just put it this way... I have other interests. At least after more than two weeks, I'm already in the Sorting Hat. Hahaha!

I just started reading this two days ago. According to the reviews it's similar to the Dan Brown series. I liked Angels and Demons so this tweaked my interest. Let's just see. *No spoilers please!*

Current Game...




I was already a Sims fan since I was introduced to the game. I have all the expansion packs and would play god every time I had the chance. I still remember sleepless nights because of that. I have always wanted to play this I saw it come out. Thanks to Joven, I'm now trying to make our sims woohoo every night! Haha!

Current Likes...



I've been gaga over the beads I saw in Divi. I bought a number already. Late bloomer talaga cause I saw a number of these in Boracay a number of years ago but I didn't buy any for myself. But fell in love with it last weekend. Now, I want to go back to Divi to buy some more. Hehe! My ever so creative officemates, Ara and Irish, are now thinking of cool centerpieces with a few of these. Yey!

Latest acquisition...


I wanted to buy this magazine since I saw it in the ads. Not because I'm fond of artistas but because it's all about weddings (talagang may disclaimer eh.. hehe!). And nice weddings they were! Some were simple and elegant yet a number were lavish and outrageous.

Current Look...



Bead girl in the office. Lost some weight but still need to lose more. Hehe!

Last gimmick...



Went out with my grad school barkada (missing Dette), last Tuesday. Trisha visited Manila for a few days. Must have more of these. =)

MB!!!

I know that this is not wedding related but I'm blogging this anyway.

I'm soooo excited!!!

Joven saw an article on the papers yesterday about MB doing a concert in Araneta this coming October. He told me about it but I just shrugged it off thinking we're in the middle of the wedpreps and another expense is not within budget. *Sigh* When I got to the office, an officemate also mentioned it to me. *Gash!* They both know that I'm a big fan.

Out of curiosity (curiosity daw oh), I went to ticketnet for the rates. It's expensive! *More sighs* I just couldn't help myself... I e-mailed him the link! Haha! A few minutes later he asked me which ticket price is okay with me. I kidded him "Yung 25k++, katabi nya!" Then I later said "Okay na sakin yung 200 na popcorn tapos kinig na lang tayo sa labas." (Arte ba? Papa-cute lang. Hehe!) I was crossing my fingers that he'd get upper box B. Later, I received a BCC e-mail confirmation from him addressed to the people at ticketnet. He got us reserved seats at the lower box! I literally screamed in delight! I just couldn't contain my joy. I was jumping all around the office, not only because we will be watching MB in the lower box but because Joven is such an angel. He knows how much I go gaga over MB. Thanks brad! Mwah!

We'll be picking up the tickets tomorrow! Woohoo!

BTW, of course we'll be having MB's songs in our wedding. =D Yun yung wedding related!

I miss...

• Being online (chatting for me these days means ILO chatting)
• Blogging (Chris, the tag thingy would have to wait for a few more days =D)
• Bloghopping and posting comments on blogs (if I did visit your blog and commented on any post... that would be exceptional)
• Reading w@w mails or any e-mail for that matter (if I sent one, it was either a quick reply or was intended days ago)
• Regular badminton games (last night’s game was a great break… hope to be back on track)
• Playing Civilization III (dominating the world is a great stress reliever, believe me…)
• Watching late night TV (late night for me means anything beyond 10p… I’m starting to miss out on Kapuso’s Sugo and Encantadia… haha!)
• Reading books up to the wee hours of the morning (two paragraphs from Bob Ong’s book starts making me dizzy… not that it’s bad or anything)
• Wed preps (the matrix of florists that I was making is still “in the making mode” and I started it two weeks ago… good thing the HMUA matrix was done before the s*** hit the fan)

Je suis fatigué… toujours.

For Joven

When I look at you
every aged phrase is new,
and there are moments
when it seems
I’ve married one of
Shakespeare’s dream.
- Ogden Nash


I marry you,
morning by morning,
day by day,
night by night.
- John Ciardi


Love’s Exquisite Freedom
Love arrives;
and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure
ancient histories of pain.
Yet, if we are bold
love strikes away the chains of fear
From our souls.

We are weaned from our timidity.
In the flush of love’s light
we dare be brave
and suddenly we see
that love costs all we are
and will ever be.
Yet, it is only love
which sets us free.
- Maya Angelou

Happily Ever After… and then some

I have been meaning to write about this but I just couldn’t find the time. The other day, I found myself thinking about it again. I was reading a back issue of Newsweek when I chanced upon an article entitled “And Now, the Hard Part.” The author wrote about how that sweet little thing is about to commandeer our lives and that we should be prepared. It hit a button. Immediately, I made a mental note to share the article to Joven. Joven and I often talk about having kids. We already have a number of children we want to have (a maximum of two) and when to have them (two years after the wedding). We want to enjoy each other first (*wink wink*) and of course, prepare for the child: physically, financially and emotionally/psychologically.

Physically
I know that I am not getting any younger and 30 might be a little old to start having kids but I feel that above all, preparedness in other aspects is essential. Some of my workmates tell me that it’s hard to drag oneself out of bed to make a formula or change diapers as one gets older. But I also saw my sister who at the age of 36 can still very much take care of her precocious and energetic 4-year-old son. I think it’s a matter of attitude.

Financially
Will we be able to give our child a good and comfortable life? Joven and I work hard (especially him) in order to prepare for the future. It has some financial rewards but in the long run I don’t want our children to feel neglected because we were not there. Many couples fall prey in interpreting “parenting” to “providing” which eventually leads to defiant children. I think it’s a matter of teamwork/partnership and balancing of roles and responsibilities.

Emotionally/Psychologically
I still have to battle a number of fears in this area. What I am most scared of is teaching values and eventually yielding good people. I have seen a number of parents who are good persons who have not-so-good children. Is it too much love? I think I have to refresh on my developmental psychology.

According to the article in Newsweek, a large percentage of marital fights occur on the first three years of the child and are mainly on the division of labor. I am hoping that we’ll manage. I see great potential in Joven. He took care of his cousin and his sister when they were infants and knows more or less how to handle little kids. I myself took care of my two nephews when they were younger. I know that that experience is incomparable to parenting but a little know-how helps. I also see how receptive Joven is. After reading the article, he told me that we should go out on dates more often (*touched*). I think it’s a matter of faith and love.

Which gives me a raw conclusion of how I should look at parenting. It is a matter of attitude, teamwork/partnership, balancing of roles and responsibilities, faith and love.

Bridesmaid?!

Last week, I got a funny text from a friend.

She: "Urgent lang, would you know of any church na nagkukumpil bukas?"

Gash! Bukas na?!

Me: "I think San Miguel Church does it weekly pero I don't know kung meron sila bukas."

She did not reply back. At the back of my mind I was thinking that she might be getting married anytime soon. Kasi naman di naman nagiging urgent ang pagpapakumpil. =)

Last Sunday, I had a disturbing call. Guess who? It's her again.

She: "Dionne! Pwede ka bang maging bridesmaid sa wedding ko? Sa August 8!"
Me: "Ha?! Oh sige. Sure! Sabi ko na nga ba ikakasal ka na eh."
She: "Pasensya ka na biglaan eh. Ano nga pala buong pangalan mo? Pati initial ah."
Me: "Dionne Marga M. Morales"
She: "Lalagay ko na sa invitation ah."
Me: "Okay. Monday yun di ba?"
She: "Oo, bigay ko na lang invitation sayo ah. Salamat ah. Bye!"

When I ended the call, I was in awe. And I couldn't stop laughing. I immediately told Joven about it. He asked who it was and I told him she was a former classmate in French. I didn't expect her to get me as one of her bridesmaids. I was a friend but I didn't realize that I was that kind of a friend. I'm flattered but I'm still in awe.

Yesterday, I saw her around the office. She was taking the PDOS. Apparently, she will be posted abroad soon. Kaya pala sila nagmamadaling mag-asawa. She told me that they've been together for more than 5 years. Hindi pala nagmamadali. =) She seemed happy. She repeated what she said over the phone. She told me that measurements for the gown will be done next week. Feeling ko tuloy ikakasal na ko... dami ko nang inisip (my hair na hindi pa rin umaayos, my face that all of a sudden is breaking out, my weight!) To think na bridesmaid lang ako! Haha!

I now realize that the phone call I got last Sunday was real. Gash!

Say a Little Prayer...

With a smile in her face, Cathy quietly slipped it in my hand last night at her father's wake. "Matagal na 'yan sa'kin. Di ko lang mabigay sa'yo."

We haven't seen each other for some months. Three days ago, I received a text from her that her dad passed away. Anne, one of my college barkada, immediately made sure that we clear our schedules in order to go to the wake.

Joven and I went to Cri-c's office and hitched a ride with her and her sister, Iyay. The rest of the group, which includes Anne, Beej, Andrew, and Mem, rode in Sam's car. We met at Blue Wave where the kwentuhan almost did not end.

On our way to Cathy's house, I remembered the time where we chatted over the phone about her now husband, Robert. She told me that she might have found the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with. We were 21 then. We were giggling and laughing throughout the conversation. She was the first to marry in the barkada. It was a big surprise to us since we thought that Robert came home from the US just to meet her parents and start preparing for the wedding. Little that we knew, it was Cathy's mom who was preparing for it all along. They were married in the municipal hall with few people as witnesses. We weren't even invited which for quite some time put a strain in our barkada.

Eons ago, Cathy was preparing her papers to migrate with Robert in the US. Last night, she said that she is finally set to leave on the 19th. I’ll miss her. I’ll miss how she laughs at all my jokes even if it’s so mababaw… thus her nickname, laughing machine. I’ll miss how she gives us advice on marriage and relationships even if Robert is thousand of miles away… and everything that she says is valid. I’ll miss her thoughtfulness and her ability to always surprise me.

When she told me she has something for me, I never thought that it was anything close to this. She said she remembered me when she saw it and even apologized that she wasn’t able to frame it for me. I told her no worries. I finally opened the rolled up paper at home. It contains a Prayer for an Engaged Couple. =)

Father, God of life and love, together we come before you.

Make us strong in faith and generous in love for you and for each other.

Bless both of us. May we become more honest and sincere as we try

to get to know each other better. We hear and see so many things around us

especially through the media that convey misleading messages about

love between two people. May we learn your Truth.

May we let Jesus, your Son be our Teacher in learning

about true self-giving and loving. Help us to resist all temptations

and to avoid occasions that would lead us to sin. Let your Spirit

be our Guide in knowing your will and in living it faithfully.

When we would have become ready to take each other completely

for the rest of our lives, may we celebrate through the Sacrament of

Marriage your wonderful gift of love together with family,

relatives and friends. Amen.